"The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide
to the Art of Relationship"
by
Don Miguel Ruiz
Short and Powerful
- Highly Recommend. Reading this concise book I had the feeling that I was
glimpsing real wisdom, not psychobable or "self-help".
Don Miguel Ruiz takes his interpretation of Toltec wisdom explained beautifully
in his previous work "The Four Agreements" and applies these concepts to
the realm of human relationships. Ruiz has an easy writing style that is
very accessible and a joy to read numerous times.
This is a book you can finish in an afternoon sitting, yet it's simple truths
have the potential to alter profoundly how you view loving relationships
as well as your relationship with yourself. There's a lot here. I've read
this twice and it's spoken directly to me in ways beyond what I can explain
in this review.
Don Miguel teaches through parable and direct suggestion the transforming
power of self-love. He says that all relationships start with you, and how
you feel about yourself. You will allow just as much abuse and what he calls
"emotional poison" as you inflict upon yourself. A truly loving relationship
requires self love - which is so lacking in most of us. Ruiz compares the
ideal relationship to the one we have with out pet - say our dog. The
relationship with our dog is perfect because we get exactly what we expect
from our dog. We never wish that our dog would be better at being a dog,
and we love it freely just as it is. Yet with our mate we tend not to accept
them as they are, we expect them to be different, to act in ways they would
not naturally act. Then we are unhappy with them. We think we are in love
with them, but really we're in love with how we want them to be. He says
that we do not truly accept this person we say we love because we don't accept
ourselves.
Ruiz tell us that humans hunt for love because we don't have it. We don't
have it within ourselves. We hunt for love from other humans who also don't
love themselves and are also on the love hunt. Then we are surprised and
upset that we don't get the love we want from them, and they feel the same.
So true! Other people don't have the love we need, only we do.
Don Miguel ends the book with a guide to healing our "emotional body" and
also prayers for ourselves.~Jeff
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Book Description
In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel illuminates the fear-based beliefs
and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our
relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, he
shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that
are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to
loving relationships. Using teachings from the three Toltec Masteries (Awareness,
Transformation, and Love) as a foundation, don Miguel brings to light the
fallacies and misplaced expectations about love that permeate most relationships.
He gracefully shares his wisdom through delightful and engaging stories that
clarify each point and bring his message to life.
READER'S COMMENTS ON
The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
About unconditional love. I particularly like what the the aurhor says about unconditional love. I think we have to understand the God loves us unconditionally before we can practice this concept. I learned about God unconditional love in the book and the Book An Encounter With a Prophet which removed all of the support for the negative concepts I had about God. I highly recommend both books.~A Reader
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
If you're ready to change your life, read this book. I read this book over and over again, and then bought the audio book to play in my car. You have to be willing to really listen and absorb what is said, which is simple and forthright. I felt this book addressed so many of my problems, and made me see them in a new light. I have made life changes because of this book and they are all for the good. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to be happier in his/her own life. It WILL make a difference.~K.D.
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
The perfect book about love. I so wish I took a college course based on this book. If more people read it before getting involved with a relationship there would be far less bad marriages and doomed relationships. I never heard this material anywhere else, but it has to be the most accurate explaination of our human nature and how it destroys us. Wow. I will give this book to everyone I know just starting out. The true Mastery of Love is a excellent, practical, guide to thinking straight and will provide many years of happiness to come. Love and Happiness are so simple when explained by Migual. Even if I cannot change my ways, I will at least now understand why I get disappointed, stressed out and feeling empty. I strongly recommend this book to any human that loves!~nancy
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
To love and
be loved is everything. The word love does not mean the same for all of us.
However, we all need to love and be loved and this book helps us to understand
that loving yourself is essential for all other relationships that we have.
Our father, our mother, our husband/wife, our children, our brothers/sisters
and friends, it all starts with loving ourselves. This book helps us understand
this and gives the direction on how to fall in love with ourselves and not
fear loosing that love. By doing that all other realationships fall into
place and you can love and be loved forever.~Dorthe
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
The kind of book you'll recommend. I bought this book after reading The Four
Agreements. I didn't think I could like a book more than that one, but I
was pleasantly surprised! This book is more than a book about love, it has
given me such an inner peace about myself and my greater spirituality. I
have gifted several people with it because I think it is something that every
person over the age of 14 should read.~Keli
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Learn how to have a healthy relationship with yourself and with others. I
enjoyed this book immensely. I stumbled on it by sheer accident and it's
changed my life!
This book is so amazing, that i've recommended it personally to others and
even bought one for a friend for her birthday. i've even read it aloud to
girls who i've dated because i felt its message was so powerful and i wanted
to share it.
At a Toastmasters club where i'm a member, i delivered a speech on personal
development and incorporated some of the principles in this book as well
as another book i feel strongly about: Working on Yourself Doesn't Work,
by Ariel and Shya Kane. (That book has 3 principles/axioms of Transformation
that cannot be proved but are experiential in nature. i.e., you will feel
in your heart and soul that they are true because you've experienced them).
I rendered that speech so powerfully because it came from the heart and people
afterwards were truly inspired and asked me for more references, which is
when i recommended them to The Mastery of Love & Working on Yourself
Doesn't Work. (Also, the Kanes' book on How to Create a Magical Relationship
is awesome as well) ~B.M.
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
A Life-Changing
Book on What Love Really Is. "The Mastery of Love" made me have a complete
shift on what the concept of real love is. I always thought that love was
something that needed to come from another person in order for me to feel
complete. But this is just based on scarcity, fear and neediness and I soon
saw that I would always be hungry and never satisfied in love if I continued
this way.
"The Mastery of Love" taught me that the only way to arrive at true love
is by allowing yourself to be who you are, loving that, and taking full
responsibility of your own emotions and issues that arise. No matter how
hard you try, you can only manage your own self and your side of any
relationship, romantic or not. You cannot ever control someone and experience
real love. Any other idea is a falsehood based on fear and manipulation not
love. If you always take care of yourself and love yourself - you will not
seek validation from outside. Therefore you will always have an abundance
of love, and be able to give and receive love freely.
Ruiz is a genius when it comes to practical and simple philosophy that just
plain works. No fluffy stuff here, just the goods. I highly recommend the
Mastery of Love.
The only other book that had the same effect on me was "How to Create a Magical
Relationship" by Ariel & Shya Kane. It has done wonders for me regarding
how I feel about myself and how I approach my relationships - not only in
romantic love, but also with friendships and family and even co-workers.
~David
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
A great read! Definitely speaks to love in all relationships in life such
as the relationship you have with your kids, spouse, parents, friends, etc...this
book has helped me to see what's been in front of me all the
while.~Michelle
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Blew me away! I read the 4 Agreements
and loved it and even took a seminar series on it. Then I stumbled across
this book! It is fantastic! It is a roadmap on how to be happy, how to experience
heaven right now (love yourself unconditionally. You will be happy any time
your love is flowing to others). Simple concepts but I didn't know them.
I typically underline when I read non-fiction so I can quickly review the
salient points later on... in this case I might as well plan to read the
whole book again, as just about every page has enlightening thoughts. Wow,
I am still reeling from the power presented by Don Miguel! Read this book!!!
Best book I have read in years, maybe decades! And I am an avid reader of
both fiction and non-fiction. I liked best the allegory about the magical
kitchen (if you have unlimited quality and quantity of food yourself (ie.
love for yourself), you will not need to bargain with others for theirs.
You will be content and able to just love others (unconditional love!)~A.S.
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
A wonderful Book of reflection. I found
this book to be quite informative. The approach isn't that of a Self-Help
book, although one would assume so in the title. This book helps one become
honest with their own "training" and to reveal the wounds that make up our
world and influence our decisions. My favorite part of this book is the part
that say not to listen to him, but listen to yourself. If you read this book
with an open mind, it can create change and help you achieve a level of happines
never before imagined.~Ruben
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Another winner from the author of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS! I loved THE FOUR
AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz, in which he shared wisdom from his Toltec
ancestors . . . it helped me and I'm sure countless others develop a simple,
yet effective code of personal conduct.
So when I had the chance to listen to his follow-up book, THE MASTERY OF
LOVE, I naturally was intrigued by the possibility of gaining some more valuable
insights from the author--this time dealing with the subject of both developing
and maintaining a loving relationship.
Perhaps my only disappointment in this title was that it was too short .
. . I gained so much from it that after one listening, I immediately felt
the need to go back and listen a second time . . . methinks that if you were
reading it, you'd do the same, if just to master this one concept:
To try to change somebody is to try to change a dog or cat. You love them
for who they are. If you're with somebody, don't try to change him or her.
Also, there were these other valuable tidbits: Let go of the past and begin
every day with a high level of love.
If you don't love yourself, you can change your belief and your life will
change.
When you hear your heart guiding you to happiness, make a choice and stick
to it.
Forgive others, and you will see miracles happen in your life.
And lastly, there was this one that really struck home: If your choice is
to be in a relationship and your partner is playing the same game . . . what
a gift! ~Blaine
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
A Gift of
Love. The Mastery of Love is an exquisitely written little gift of a book
that can help you find the courage to live a life free of what the author
calls emotional poison: fear, guilt, worry, jealousy, stress and perhaps
most crucial of all, self-judgment and blame. Don Manuel Ruiz identifies
the major obstacles to love and happiness as various forms of fear and as
the need to be right. It is possible, however, to avoid this trap by consistently
choosing to love without condition or expectation of return. As an alternative,
Ruiz reveals that the very choice of sending love out enriches us from within
and frees us from the fear of its absence. Exercising compassion, in its
turn, frees us from the yoke of judgment.
Ruiz offers us a window onto a world where "Heaven on Earth" is possible
by simply disempowering our arbitrary thoughts and beliefs. He explains we
can do so by choosing to live directly, honestly and with responsibility.
By doing so, you can tap into the exciting and practically limitless possibility
available to you once you start living in the moment. In, "Working on Yourself
Doesn't Work," authors Ariel & Shya Kane extend a similar invitation
to their readers to see things as they actually are, not as we would prefer
them to be or fear that they might be. The simple act of seeing, without
judging, becomes a passport to a life of ease and satisfaction.
Don Manuel Ruiz, a follower of the Toltec tradition, would say that we can
then connect to the divinity in each of us.~Alessandra
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
I needed this book! I read this in my early twenties, when I was pretty pathetic,
frankly. I'd had a "friendship" with an older man, and despite the fact that
he was married I often convinced myself that there was something more to
our relationship, and tried to stay "friends" with him, even as I remained
in denial. But this book helped me learn to understand my need for
self-validation and feel, at last, a healthy embarrassment for the way I
behaved (and dressed!) in those situations.
Eventually my self-awareness developed the point that I acheived true
independence (an important passage on page 58 explains the spiritual corruption
that comes from "entitlement"). If only I'd found this book earlier, I wouldn't
have wasted time travelling in Europe.~Anastasia
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Simple yet powerful concepts. In a very enlightening, insightful, and spiritual
way, ruiz talks about some simple things that we so often lose sight of in
our relationships. as a psychologist, i have looked at relationships from
many angles and found this book helpful in the way that it empowers people
to accept themselves and others and, thereby, encourages them to take pressure
off of themselves that results from trying to fix, heal, or otherwise change
another human being. i have found this to be one of the biggest pitfalls
in relationships, both personally and professionally. one of the most
enlightening ideas is expressed on page 60--the notion that feeling sorry
for someone is disrespectful to that person. this has implications for the
fear and rescuing tendencies that drive many human relationships. i also
appreciate the distinction that ruiz makes between the track of fear and
the track of love. the notion of creating your own happiness and not relying
on others to do it for you creates a whole new freedom in relationships that
breaks old patterns and encourages each person to be more authentic, thereby
removing some of the pressures that keep us trapped in fear. the book closes
with some really great prayers asking God for the blessings of greater awareness
and self-love. the only way that you will not learn something from this book
is if you believe that you have nothing to learn. when you believe that,
you have stopped being human.~Jennifer
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Ruiz is amazing! This book was wonderful, and easy to read. As someone who is constantly trying to better myself, this book was extremely helpful- not in a preachy, condescending way at all. Ruiz disarms you with his simple language, touching stories, and teaches you a way of life that will change the way you look at EVERYTHING. And as you continue reading the book, you'll grow along with it, and feel completely different when you're done. When i finished reading this book, i felt more at peace than i had in a long time. It was like, "Okaaay! It makes sense now!" Ha- And then i went and bought ALL of his books! And i loved them all, but this one is definitely my FAVORITE. It's on my list of "books to memorize." Enjoy!~A
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
IT GAVE THE POWER TO MOVE ON. After my
painfull divorce I waited two years before getting involve with a new person,
I dated this person for seven months and I fall in love so deeply, suddenly
this person walked away from me, I never understood why this man did not
loved me, I had all Don Miguel book's, and I do try to practice the four
agreements, and I control my knowledge voice, I also use the Prayer, but
when I read the Mastery of Love, I found myself now I understand that nobody
else can break my heart, because my heart has me and I will never walk away
from my own heart, we have each other and that's all it counts I have mastery
my self love
This book is so simple to read as all Ruiz books he writes in a manner that
is so clear it also teach you how to cure your emocional pain, it is so clear
and refreshing that I had to read it twice and it has change my perspective
of how to find love. ~Mirna
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
A different perspective on love. This book provides a rather different approach
to love than what is expressed in popular culture. While Ruiz's tenents are
quite simple and should seem to be common sense (foundation comes from The
Four Agreements), he expresses them with appropriate metaphors to offer an
alternative and, in my opinion, a healthier conception of love.
We should move away from the idea of Jerry Maguire love -- the "you complete
me" mentality. Portraying love as a need/desire that must be obtained in
order to be a whole person is not healthy; and it perpetuates the notion
that single people are unhappy and incomplete. This book focuses on the value
of self-love and exuding that self-love to others.
The inherent difficulty is that when buying into Ruiz's point of view, then
you may face a challenge in relationships if your partner views love in a
different light. But what do I know? I'm still single...and loving it. :)
~D.M.
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
The Mastery of Self Love. From this wonderful book, you will learn more about
the importance of true, unconditional self love, and from that place, you
will then know how to love others as they are, not as you try to re-make
them to be. Self love comes from the center of your heart and being, and
with that comes the realization that we can only share true love with another
person when we first share true unconditional love with ourselves.
This is far different than "ego" as ego is the exact opposite of love. It
is all from the outside in. Ruiz writes in a manner that is to the point,
where you will come to understand more about authenticity, and the difference
this perspective can make in your life.
I loved this book, and I also suggest another book along with this one by
Barbara Rose called "Stop Being the String Along" both books have opened
my mind and heart, and are authentic gems of wisdom that have been a tremendous
benefit in my life.~Denise
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Beautiful presentation and a wonderful book. I enjoyed reading this book
a lot. It gave me a perspective that helps me to stop reacting, and live
genuinely in the moment in love. It's a wonderful read!~Staci
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The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship
Happiness comes from inside... Kudos to Ruiz for writing another great book
that's also a quick read! The lowest rating anyone has given it is a 3 out
of 5 stars, which is amazing. It's not your typical relationship book, it's
not going to tell you how to settle your argument about who should take out
the trash, who's behaving poorly, or a fool proof way to find your soul mate.
It will take you down a path of how you develop relationships, starting from
the beginning of your emotional life to now. Then it describes to you how
to re-examine your current relationships.
I really enjoyed the stories that typically start most chapters and the creative
examples he uses to get his point across. "The Perfect Relationship" has
the dog example "The dog is responsible for its half of the relationship
with you. One half of the relationship is completely normal - the dog's half,
When you come home, it barks at you, it wags it tail, it pants because it's
so happy to see you. It does its part very well, and you know it's the perfect
dog." He goes on to say because your expectation of the dog is to be a dog
and nothing more, it is a perfect relationship. How many relationships do
you have where you only expect a person to be who they are and nothing more?
The chapters are filled with great points about emotional development and
"wounds" we acquire through the life process. In the end, he sums it up that
finding heaven is about finding truth, forgiveness, and self-love.
I feel there's other books that cover similar material that have moved me
more passionately than "The Mastery of Love" most of those take longer to
read and are a little more abstract. I recommend this book to anyone recovering
from a breakup, or coming from a "I can't find the love I'm looking for"
point of view. For anyone else, it's still a good book :-)
Four out of Five stars for great messages, good dialogue and length. Minus
one star for not blowing me away with some sort of deep feeling or
passion.~Kristen
Read
more
or order your copy of
"The
Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of
Relationship"
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